When Everything Feels Heavy: A Teen’s Guide to Vicarious Trauma and Taking Care of Yourself
⚠️ Content Notice & Safety Resources
⚠️ Quick heads up: This talks about tough stuff like suicide, self-harm, and mental health. If you need help right now:
Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (available 24/7)
Text "HELLO" to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line
Go to your nearest emergency room or call 911 if you are in immediate danger
Reach out to Walk Intuit at (213) 286-1031 for trauma-informed support
Feeling overwhelmed? Save this for later: It's completely okay to pause, step away, or reach out for support. You can return to this information when you feel ready. Consider having a trusted person nearby while reading, or reviewing this content with a therapist or counselor.
Real Talk: You're Not Dramatic for Feeling This Way
Your feed is probably a mix of memes, your friends' posts, and... heavy stuff. News about violence. Friends sharing their mental health struggles. Memorial pages. People talking about suicide. War footage. Disaster videos. And the algorithm keeps showing you more.
If you can't stop scrolling even though it makes you feel worse, if you're having nightmares about things you've seen online, if you feel responsible for fixing everyone around you—that's vicarious trauma, and it's real.
Here's the thing: 20% of high school students thought about suicide last year. That's like 6 people in a class of 30. Teens who use social media are 3x more likely to have depression. Your generation is dealing with something no one else has had to navigate.
But you're also the generation breaking stigma, supporting each other, and demanding better. You just need the right tools.
What Even Is Vicarious Trauma?
It's when you develop real trauma symptoms from witnessing OTHER people's experiences—through social media, watching friends struggle, or being exposed to violence and death online.
Why it hits teens harder:
Your brain's still developing (seriously, until like age 25)
You identify super strongly with your peers
Social media algorithms literally push traumatic content to you
You're already dealing with school stress, social pressure, and figuring out who you are
What it looks like:
Can't stop doomscrolling even though it hurts
Nightmares about stuff you've seen online
Feeling guilty for being happy when others are suffering
Exhausted from being everyone's therapist
Feeling numb or disconnected
Thinking about suicide even though you weren't before (this is actually a thing called suicide contagion—we'll get to that)
5 Things That Actually Help (Backed by Research)
1. Take Control of Your Feed (You Don't Have to See Everything)
The goal isn't to delete all social media. That's unrealistic and honestly not necessary. The goal is being intentional.
Do this:
Unfollow accounts that post constant trauma content
Use content filters (all platforms have them)
Follow accounts focused on solutions and helpers, not just problems
Set a timer before you start scrolling
No heavy content 2 hours before bed
Just because your friends engage with something doesn't mean you have to
Why it works: Research shows limiting traumatic social media and discussions about trauma significantly reduces vicarious trauma. You're not ignoring problems—you're protecting your ability to actually help.
2. Learn to Talk About Suicide Safely (#chatsafe)
If you and your friends are talking about mental health and suicide online (you are), you need to know how to do it without making things worse. The #chatsafe guidelines were literally created by young people for this exact reason.
If you're sharing your struggle:
✅ Focus on recovery and what helped
✅ Include resources (988, Crisis Text Line)
❌ Don't share details about methods
❌ Don't glorify or romanticize it
❌ Don't post during an active crisis
If a friend seems suicidal:
You CAN ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide?" (This doesn't give them the idea—it shows you care)
Listen without judgment
Encourage them to talk to a professional
Tell a trusted adult (this isn't snitching, it's saving a life)
It's okay if you can't respond—if you're not in a good place, that's valid
If someone's in immediate danger:
Screenshot the post
Tell an adult NOW
Call 988 if needed
Find the full guidelines by searching #chatsafe.
3. Understand Suicide Contagion (It's Real and You Can Protect Yourself)
Suicide contagion is when being exposed to a peer's suicide makes you more likely to have suicidal thoughts—especially if you already have struggles. This isn't your fault. Your brain is wired to identify with your peers, and it makes you vulnerable.
How it happens:
Someone in your school or community dies
Memorial pages blow up
Everyone's posting tributes
The algorithm keeps showing you more
You start thinking about it constantly
What helps:
Limit time on memorial pages—honor them without spending hours scrolling
Don't glamorize the death—remember the whole person, not just how they died
Talk about the mental health struggle, not the method
Watch for warning signs in yourself—if you start having suicidal thoughts, tell an adult IMMEDIATELY
Take it seriously in friends: giving away stuff, saying goodbye weirdly, dramatic mood changes → tell an adult
Real talk: Having intrusive thoughts about suicide after someone dies doesn't mean YOU'RE suicidal. But if those thoughts stick around or get worse, talk to someone now.
4. Be a Good Friend Without Becoming a Teen Therapist
Peer support programs that train teens in mental health actually help BOTH people—the person struggling AND the supporter. But there's a difference between being supportive and being their therapist.
You CAN:
Listen without fixing
Validate feelings ("That sounds really hard")
Normalize getting help ("Therapy actually helps a lot of people")
Offer practical support ("Want me to sit with you while you call the counselor?")
Check in regularly
Take care of yourself too
You CAN'T:
Be their therapist
Keep secrets about suicide or self-harm
Take responsibility for their recovery
Sacrifice your own mental health
Diagnose them
When to get an adult involved:
They mention suicide, self-harm, or being hurt
They're doing dangerous stuff
Their mental health is getting way worse
You feel overwhelmed
Your gut says something's really wrong
How to tell without betraying them: "I know you asked me not to tell, but I care about you too much to watch you struggle alone. I'm going to help you get support from someone trained for this. I'll come with you if you want."
Some schools have programs like Students Supporting Students or Teen Mental Health First Aid—ask your counselor if they're available.
5. Turn Your Empathy Into Action (Not Just Anxiety)
Feeling overwhelmed by the world means you're empathetic and aware—that's actually good. The problem is when it just becomes anxiety without action.
Ways to actually help:
Volunteer locally with causes you care about
Join/start a mental health club at school
Share RESOURCES online, not just trauma content
Fundraise for organizations doing real work
Use your art/writing/platform to destigmatize getting help
Build your resilience:
Physical basics (boring but true):
Sleep 8-10 hours—your brain literally needs it
Move your body somehow (doesn't have to be the gym)
Eat regularly—hunger makes emotions worse
Limit alcohol/drugs—they make mental health worse long-term
Emotional skills:
Name your feelings (look up emotion wheels)
Practice grounding when overwhelmed (5-4-3-2-1 technique)
Journal or create art
Have in-person hangouts, not just online friends
Connection:
Don't let your entire friend group be people who are struggling
Quality over quantity—deep friendships with a few people > hundreds of followers
Set boundaries with people who drain you (it's okay)
Meaning:
What actually matters to you?
Set some goals (combats hopelessness)
Notice and appreciate good things (not toxic positivity, just balance)
About Those Shows (Euphoria, 13 Reasons Why, etc.)
Shows depicting intense mental health stuff, substance use, and suicide can be helpful OR harmful depending on where you're at.
Watch safely:
Be honest if you're not in a place to handle triggering content
Watch with friends/family who can talk about it after
Remember it's dramatized—real recovery looks different
If it triggers self-harm thoughts, stop watching and talk to someone
Look up trigger warnings first
When to Actually Get Professional Help
For yourself:
Can't stop thinking about traumatic things you've seen
Having nightmares
Having suicidal thoughts or urges to self-harm
Grades/relationships/life falling apart
Feeling numb or unlike yourself
Using substances to cope
For a friend (tell them this):
They talk about wanting to die
They're self-harming
Major behavior changes
They're withdrawing from everyone
They've lost someone or experienced trauma
Walk Intuit Gets It
We actually understand that your generation is dealing with unprecedented stuff. We're not going to lecture you about "kids these days."
What we offer:
Teen Groups (13-18): Process vicarious trauma and grief with peers who get it
Individual therapy: Trauma-focused approaches that actually work
Family therapy: Help your family understand what you're going through
School programs: Peer support training - Let your school know about us (send them this post!) and ask for mental health support and training.
Get started:
Call/text: (213) 286-1031
Check out: walkintuit.org/contact
Free resources: walkintuit.org/free-grief-resource-guide
Your Mental Health Survival Kit
Crisis (right now):
988: Text or call (24/7, free, confidential)
Text "HELLO" to 741741: Crisis Text Line
Trevor Project (LGBTQ+): 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678
Ongoing:
Search #chatsafe for safe communication guidelines
Active Minds: activeminds.org (student mental health)
The Jed Foundation: jedfoundation.org
NAMI: nami.org
Bottom Line
Being a teen right now is hard in ways that didn't exist before. You're exposed to more trauma, more peer struggles, more global crises than anyone before you. That's real.
But you're also more aware, more empathetic, and more willing to talk about mental health than any generation before. You're breaking stigma. You're supporting each other. You're demanding better.
You don't have to choose between being informed and being okay. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to help friends. You don't have to carry everything alone.
The world needs your empathy and your voice. But it needs you healthy so you can keep showing up.
Key Research Sources
Liu, Y., et al. (2024). Social media and vicarious trauma. European Journal of Psychotraumatology. Link
Newport Academy. (2023). Suicide Contagion. Link
Robinson, J., et al. (2018, 2023). #chatsafe guidelines. PLOS ONE. Link
University of Utah. (2023). Social Media Impact on Teen Mental Health. Link
CDC. (2024). Youth Risk Behavior Survey. Link
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, text or call 988 now. Your life matters.
Your healing matters. In a world that often feels overwhelming, taking care of your emotional wellbeing isn't selfish—it's essential. When you heal, you're better able to contribute to healing in the world around you.
